GRAB Ass Wednesday

Caption This!

I'm not saying a thing except that y'all got until Sunday-ish.

How Many Months?

This is not the belly of a seven months pregnant woman.

...but it is the belly of a rather large lunch.

She's A Brick House

Wow. Salma Hayek is...wow.

As a big girl myself, I feel I can put this out there: Salma is a BBW! These pictures of her at the Indiana Jones premiere are really something. Takes your breath away. Very impactful.

I started hearing song titles in my head after seeing these:

• She's A Big MammaJamma
• Big Girls Don't Cry
• Brick House
• She Ain't Fat, She's Just Big Boned
  
• Big Thing
• Sex And Candy
• Bootylicious
• She's Got Big Tits

And of course, Baby Got Back.

How about you?

Sticky But Sweet

It appears that I will be worshiping The Queen from the right side of the Church ACC.

I was kinda "asking, believing, receiving" about being close enough for her to make me her bitch for the night, but at least this way I won't get crushed, frustrated (I'm 5'8" -1") or claustrophobic. I'll be able to see the whole thing.

Naturally, The Queen's stage set is under wraps, so I can only assume these will be good enough.

It did just occur to me that she might do the center stage thing.

Naaaaaahh....No way. Why would she copy Justin, Dane Cook and her cuzz Celine?

YEAH!

GIVE IT 2 ME!

OMG.

I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight. Tomorrow morning is the Toronto Presale for ICON members.

I'm dying a little bit. I'm actually nervous.


Yes, I know I said I already had tickets for the show, and I do, but I still don't know where they are. I'm supposed to find out before 10am, but holy cripes!

... and yes, I know I'm in my late thirties.

Holy Shit!

I finally watched the season finale of Desperate Housewives! What the blue fuck is going on on Wisteria Lane!?

I know I usually try to pick the line of the night, but The Gun Song/Free had far too many. I did quite enjoy the baby naming announcement to the girls.

Probably my favourite scene all night:





Major Spoiler! If you've still got DH Tivoed and you haven't watched it yet, don't watch this next clip.

There. You've been warned.

Caption This! Results

OMG this one was so much fun!!!

Each one of you came up with some very clever and hysterical captions. From eyeballs to Jonestown; from polyester to unfortunate illnesses. Making this particularly funny is knowing who all the people are in the picture. Well, most of them. It is truly getting harder to pick just one.


So, instead of handing out an honourable mention, I'm dishing out a diamond for each of you...

Okay, with that out of the way, this week's Caption This! winner is Misster Kitty!

It wasn't so much the taste of the punch, Dwayne's knock-off "Jackie-O's" or Gladys' paisley top that so offended Maurice; it was the monumental back draft of post-burrito gas aimed directly at him as Gladys bent over.

Well done! Here's your caption crown!

BTW, the punch pourer is my cousin (?), the paisley punch drinker is my mother, and the kid by her side is me.

Manly Monday

The Illustrated Man

How. Did. This. Happen?

I can honestly say, in all the time that Brad Pitt has been in the cultural consciousness, this is the first time I've thought he was HAWT!

Back off, Lesbians! This one belongs to the boys!

Did Everyone Forget?

Dear Laura Schlessinger;

Is your newest book stop whining, start living yet another harbinger of your return to our daily speak.

Is it it because America is turning an eye and an ear to familiar conservatism out of fear of progress and change?

It seems that folks are erasing the multiple memories of your hate speech, ridiculous declarations and fanning the flames of sensationalism with your bible books.

I, for one, have not forgotten your multiple scandals, double standards and disgusting judgments of anyone who doesn't share your view on life. You're supposed to be the authority of how to "start living??" Just. Wow.

I, for one, have not forgotten that you're not actually a doctor of psychology. You're a doctor of physiology. It's got a lot of the same letters, but it's not really the same thing, is it?

I, for one, think your advice to military wives ("you're not dodging bullets, so I don't want to hear any whining") is disgraceful, considering you actually have a son serving in the military.

I can only rely on the fact that you fell from favour once before; it's likely to happen again.

Signed,

"A Biological Error"

So. Fucking. Awesome.

congratulations, California!

Perhaps the U.S. is well on the way to a civilised society.

One More Day...

...for this week's Caption This! contest.

Nice job so far...lots of Jonestown references which are totally hysterical....what else ya got?

Sunday Best

PostSecret

First Long Weekend!

Happy Victoria Day weekend to all my Canadian Queens!

It's a weekend to finally kick back, relax, open up the cottage and just generally chill out. Oh and wish Queen Victoria a happy birthday.